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We are
always keen to welcome new members to join us as this is a great way to
meet new friends and meet other people who share the same frustrations,
problems, fun and joy as you.
Whether you wish to take an active role
or just join us on social occasions we would be pleased to hear from you.
Listed below are details of what
yorktwinsclub can
provide for you. if
you would like to join us then please complete the application form.
We
look forward to you joining.
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WHAT
CAN THE TWINS CLUB OFFER YOU?
A
monthly newsletter containing
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Stories
from other members
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Tips
& Advice
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Advertisements
for twin related products
-
Recommendations
for twin friendly shops, places to visit etc
-
Twin
facts & figures
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Details
of events i.e. coffee mornings, antenatal classes, twin clinics &
member get-togethers
-
Double
Joy. A fortnightly playgroup open to anyone with multiples.
The
opportunity to meet other families with twins for your children to make
new friends. Twins Club has Christmas & Summer parties, parents meals
out, coffee mornings, tea parties & anything else its' members choose
to organise.
A
place to buy & sell ‘twin stuff’ Prams, cots, toys etc, our
newsletter will print any requests for Wanted/For Sale items.
We
also have a small library of twin related books & information for you
to borrow free of charge. We currently have the following: -
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Multiple
Blessings
-
New
Pregnancy & Birth Book
-
Twins
from conception to five years
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Mother
& Baby Care
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A
Mothers Guide to Breastfeeding
-
You
& your child in hospital
-
Keep
your baby safe
-
Babies
Names
-
The
Ten Twins (an educational story book for all children interested in
knowing about twins)
LEAFLETS
& MAGAZINES
Subjects
including Breastfeeding twins, prams for multiples, Tamba info, play,
accident prevention, tips on travelling, language development,
Hyperactivity, twins at school and much more.
In
addition to this we have back copies of Tamba magazines & our
newsletter.
VIDEOS
-
Preparing
for Twins
-
Coping
with Twins
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and
on the lighter side.......we offer this advice Preparing
For Parenthood.
Go down to the local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the
counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the
supermarket and arrange to have your wages paid directly to head office.
Go home, pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are
already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of
patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their
children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their
child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall
behaviour. Enjoy it - it'll be the last time in your life that you have
all the answers.
To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5pm
till 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 9 -12lb. At about 10pm
put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep. Get up at 12
and walk around the living room again with the bag until 1am. Put the
alarm on for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am. Sing
songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up, make
breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Can you stand the mess that children make? To find out, first smear
Marmite onto
the sofa and jam on the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and
leave it
there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds, then rub them on
the walls.
Cover the stains with crayons. How does it look?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it looks. Buy an octopus and a
string
bag. Attempt to put the octopus in the string bag so that none of the arms
hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it
into an
alligator. Now take a toilet roll tube. Using only Copydex and a piece of
foil,
make a Christmas cracker. Lastly, take a milk container, a Ping-Pong ball
and an
empty packet of Cocoa pops and make a replica of the Eiffel Tower.
Congratulations, you've just qualified for the Play Group Committee.
Forget the BMW Z3 and buy a Mondeo. Don't think that you can leave it on
the
drive spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
Buy a choc-ice, open the wrapper and put it in the glove compartment and
leave it there. Get a 20p piece and stick it in the CD player. Take a
family-sized
packet of chocolate biscuits and smash them down the back seats. Run a
garden rake
along both sides of the car. There perfect!
Get ready to go out. Wait outside the loo for half an hour. Go out of the
front
door, come in again, go out, come back in, go out. Walk down the path,
walk
back up it, walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for five
minutes.
Stop to inspect every cigarette end, piece of used chewing gum, dirty
tissue and
dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you have had
about as
much as you can take until the neighbours come out and stare at you. Give
up and go
back into the house. Do it all again later. You are now just about ready
to take
a small child for a walk.
Always repeat everything you say five times.
Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you find to
a pre-school child, a fully-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have
more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks shopping
without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything that the
goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not
consider having children.
Hollow out a melon, make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the
ceiling and
swing it from side to side. Now get a soggy Weetabix and attempt to spoon
it into
the swinging melon by pretending to be an aeroplane. Balance a spoon and a
cup on
top of the melon and every time either one falls off you must stop
spooning in the Weetabix and try and balance them on top again within 5
seconds. Continue until half the Weetabix
has gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure a lot of it falls onto
the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.
Learn the names of every character from the Teletubbies, Postman Pat and
the Tweenies.
When you find yourself singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' at work, you
finally qualify as a parent. |
